To live a single day and hear a good teaching is better than to 
live a hundred years without knowing such teaching. 
Buddha (B.C. 568-488)

Do you cope best within a structured environment - hence are looking for a structured set of goals?

Lessons For Life
We believe that as a mentor, the most significant gift we can offer a protégé are "Lessons for Life" - which can be loosely described as a person's ability to manage his or herself and relate to other people.

Helping our protégé learn and continually develop these lessons can be a lasting legacy. Why bother? Researchers have shown that these competencies matter twice as much as IQ or technical skills in increased life satisfaction and success.

How do you teach these Lessons for Life - create behaviour change? In general, the approach is to help the protégé gather data from multiple sources to take stock of their current behaviour for each lesson, providing feedback in a supportive way, and helping the protégé establish learning goals, make choices and plan for specific developmental activities. Then fostering many opportunities to practice the desired behaviour while supporting and monitoring progress. The goal of lasting behaviour change requires sustained practice. The protégé's Journals are useful tools in helping develop these behaviours

For now, let us start with a descriptive list of those competencies that make up the Lessons for Life within the mentor-protégé relationship. The list can help inventory those behaviours which are strengths and those where lessons can be developed to learn new behaviours. No one is perfect, nor is it realistic to strive for perfection in all these areas. We will jointly evaluate and pick those that are critical for your life, job, and career satisfaction.

Lesson #1:
Accurate self-assessment: Knowing one’s strengths and limits.
People with this competence are: 
° Aware of their strengths and weaknesses 
° Reflective, learning from experience 
° Open to candid feedback, new perspectives, continuous learning, and self-development 
° Able to show a sense of humour and perspective about themselves

 
Lesson #2:
Trustworthiness: Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity. People with this competence: 
° Act ethically and are above reproach 
° Build trust through their reliability and authenticity 
° Admit their own mistakes and confront unethical actions in others 
° Take tough, principled stands even if they are unpopular 

Lesson #3:
Conscientiousness: Taking responsibility for personal performance.
People with this competence: 
° Meet commitments and keep promises 
° Hold themselves accountable for meeting their objectives 
° Are organised and careful in their work 

Lesson #4:
Adaptability: Flexibility in handling change.
People with this competence: 
° Smoothly handle multiple demands, shifting priorities, and rapid change 
° Adapt their responses and tactics to fit fluid circumstances 
° Are flexible in how they see events 

Lesson #5:
Achievement drive: Striving to improve or meet a standard of excellence.
People with this competence: 
° Are results-oriented, with a high drive to meet their objectives and standards 
° Set challenging goals and take calculated risks 
° Pursue information to reduce uncertainty and find ways to do better 
° Learn how to improve their performance 

Lesson #6:
Optimism: Persistence in pursuing goals despite obstacles and setbacks.
People with this competence: 
° Persist in seeking goals despite obstacles and setbacks 
° Operate from hope of success rather than fear of failure 
° See setbacks as due to manageable circumstance rather than a personal flaw 

Lesson #7:
Empathy: Sensing others’ feelings and perspective, and taking an active interest in their concerns.
People with this competence: 
° Are attentive to emotional cues and listen well 
° Show sensitivity and understand others’ perspectives 
° Help out based on understanding other people’s needs and feelings

 
Lesson #8:
Leveraging diversity: Cultivating opportunities through diverse people.
People with this competence: 
° Respect and relate well to people from varied backgrounds 
° Understand diverse worldviews and are sensitive to group differences 
° See diversity as opportunity, creating an environment where diverse people can thrive 
° Challenge bias and intolerance

 
Lesson #9:
Communication: Sending clear and convincing messages.
People with this competence: 
° Are effective in give-and-take, registering emotional cues in attuning their message 
° Deal with difficult issues straightforwardly 
° Listen well, seek mutual understanding, and welcome sharing of information fully 
° Foster open communication and stay receptive to bad news as well as good 


It has been asserted that IQ contributes about 20% to the factors that determine life success, which leaves 80% to other forces. These "other forces" represent our emotional intelligence: abilities such as being able to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one’s moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think; to empathize and to hope; to listen, resolve conflicts, and develop cooperation. We contend that these are the essential human competencies that put people at an advantage in any domain of life, and the focus for those wanting to help others learn and achieve their potential.

The five dimensions of emotional intelligence are: Self-Awareness, Self-Regulation, Motivation, Empathy and Social Skills. These are hierarchical e.g., self-awareness is crucial for self-regulation. The good news is that people can develop these competencies. Our belief is that a mentor’s primary role is to teach these to their protégé. What a gift to help another person learn these lessons for life - the skills that will increasingly be in demand in our society, and go beyond the mentor-protégé relationship.